How I wish you were here!

All those times when I was sick in bed you would come with a cup of hot milk and brandy (just a little shot) and an aspirine. After 30 minutes or so, my temperature down and covered in sweat I could hear your voice through the door "What do you feel like eating?" "I don't know, mom, feeling so sick and all, there are not many things I feel like, but maybe ________ (whatever my favorite was). You would go in the kitchen and make it for me. I always felt better. I don't know if it was the food, the milk, the aspirine or the brandy (I'm sure the brandy helped :).

You were always there with and for me even though sometimes I thought you were against me. You really wanted the best for me, I just didn't know what the best for me was. I thought you were just trying to interfere with my happiness, therefore I always tried to go the other way. Whatever your advise, I would want to do the opposite. Now, as a mom myself, I find myself giving the same advice and doing things your way. OK, so I don't give Jason brandy, they would probably throw me in jail!

I just want to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I learned your lessons, I listened to your advice, I go to church (maybe a different church, same God). I am proud to call myself your daughter. With all those thousands of miles between us I can still feel my heart racing when I realize how much you miss me and I how much I need you. I wish you were here, but then again, you are. You are in every breath I take, you are in every smile I give and in every hug I share. Thank you for putting up with life on my behalf. I love you, mama.

LOOKING FOR THE P.P.

So, I gave it a try once again. It's just not getting any better. It has to be the right one or I will not be satisfied. No, I will not settle, not anymore. You just cannot trust their looks. It may look like it might just be the one, but of course, it's not. So many disappointments, so many "Maybe this time..." After every time I always say "Never again", but somehow the possibility of finding THE ONE makes me excited. OK, so that's not what I was looking for, but it was so close to the restaurant..., and we had 15 minutes to kill... "Honey, would it be ok if we walk to ...?" "Sure, I guess". "I am just going to walk around, just looking". And then, I was right there. Where to start? So many choices! Oh my, today it might just be the day! "I'm just looking anyway. "Everyday savings" No, I can get that one anytime. And more Everyday Savings. But then, right there in front of me "Special Price" "Half Off" King size (Yes, that's my size). Ok, but I need to feel it. You don't just get it hoping it will be THE ONE you have to at least believe it could be the one. So I put it close to my face and I thought to my self "I think I found it, THE ONE..." "I am getting this one , Hun." Bring it home, out of the bag and into the p. case. Go to bed and "OH, no, my neck is killing me"! I don't think I'll be able to walk straight in the morning. Maybe if I wait for a few minutes... No way. Off to the floor. Back to the old one. Ok, so it was not THE ONE, and the old one is not THE ONE, either, but it will have to do until I find the PERFECT PILLOW. I am not giving up. That's why I need your help. No reward, just the satisfaction of helping meeeee!

Just Like It Was This Morning ...

As I was walking through the sanctuary this morning I thought of many years ago (ok, so some of us have memories from the Stone Age :() in a small village in Spain walking into an empty church. A church built 600 years ago. I can still feel the darkness and the cold. That was the same church where I got married 17 years ago (yeah!!!) and Jason was baptized almost 13 years ago. I know God was in that church but I didn't know it then. I thought that maybe there were some not so good spirits flying around or maybe one of the saints statues would move his or her arms. And if on top of everything I had not behaved myself with my mom, maybe I even lied, or maybe I got upset with my little friends, then definitely I was afraid of having that encounter with the Lord. What a difference a million years can make! What a difference salvation made in my life! What a life I have in the Lord! If I was to walk in that sanctuary as a little girl today I would be pursuing that encounter with God. He would wrap me in His arms to comfort me, He would wipe my tears away, He would make the sanctuary bright and warm, just like it was this morning.